Doin A Bid…

young-man-behind-bars

Him doin a “Bid” can often feel like you’re doing one with him.  And anyone who has ever dated someone that has been incarcerated knows what I’m talking about; it feels something like this…

Day 8, 192 hours, 11,520 minutes,

and 691,200 seconds since my boyfriend was arrested

and I feel every fucking moment of it…

Your life changes not sure why, it just does. Some people stop going out as much so you can catch his calls so you stop going out as much. And others almost stop having fun at all because the feel guilty. You’re out having fun meanwhile he’s locked up in cage that’s not even fit for most animals… This life is a stressful life… you have the weight of your own problems compounded with his.  That not knowing if he’s okay (because I know where he is for once), mentally, physically, and most of all spiritually… It’s so amazing how the absence of 1 can be felt by so many people…

When a black person and white person tells you that they are going upstate New York for the weekend; 9 times out of 10 I can almost guarantee that they are talking about two different things. For most black people this means going to visit someone in prison. And for white people, that more than likely means that they’re going to their country house…LOL…When a person goes off to do a “Bid”  which is short for “go to fucking prison.” Being that I haven’t lived in NYC my entire life there is shit that I just don’t know about! LOL… And knowing the ins and out of the NYC prison system is one of those things. If you’ve never been a part of that life, it is an experience to say the least…LOL…

My first exposure to New York Corrections was visiting someone upstate. The first time I drove to see them but since I didn’t have a car at the time, I had to find other means of getting up there. And this is where I find myself in the world of vans and charters buses taking me upstate…

There are two types of women who make those trips upstate.  The ones who have been making these trips for years and the newbies like myself who had been doing it for less than a year. In these types of situations, I’m not really one to be in anyone’s group or click… I would say that I’m more the type that will stay to the side, join in idle conversation when necessary, and that’s about it. I’m definitely not there to make friends.  So, no I don’t give a fuck about your name, what borough you live in, how much time he has left, and especially don’t give 2 fucks about how many years you been doing this. I’m pissed off I’m even there! All the while you thinkin to yourself “I’m going to kill this mutha-fucka!” he got me hear dealing with this nonsense…LOL…

Thank God this will be over soon.

In the prison where he was, was a facility that allowed contact visits, meaning that we could kiss and hold hands during the visit. Now, I knew that this was a contact facility which for me it meant I was finally going to be able to kiss him… But for others it meant something totally different I think that I was the only damn person who didn’t know why the women were changing into long skirts to go on the visit…LMAO…it was so that they could have sex?! Who fucking knew?? I remember the first time I saw this, I was like what the fuck?? And their young kid not a baby, was sitting there at the table while the whole thing was going on.  Then I look to the other side of the room and another chick is giving her man a hand job…LOL…

Then there’s always the sexy nigga on the visit who got some fat white chick coming to see him.  Instantly, you say to yourself she taking care of his ass.  Thinking if his girl at home only knew… And while I’m doing an observation of the room, the person I came to see is giving me the run down of the room.  Finally, he gets to the sexy nigga on the visit, yeah, the one with the white chick, turns out he’s fucking gay on the low…LMAO… Damn, if his girl at home only knew…SMDH


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